Archduke of Mayhem
Cast out?
Abandoned?
I shiver against the wind that ruffles my majestic fur, surveying my Kingdom. Below, there’s a street. Ahead, there are structures—the living quarters of my unwitting subjects. The Angry One tossed me out here, on the balcony, yet again. Perhaps they want me to understand the scope of my inheritance, and truly, it is a sight to see. So vast, the world before me.
Danger!
I jump, turning to hiss at the fiend.
Oh, it’s just a car parking below.
I return to brooding.
Like I was saying.
I’ve been cast out, thrust to the mean streets of East End like so much fodder, but I’ve accepted this duty. A ruler must know one’s territory, although I must admit, the thought of venturing out there seems daunting. I could jump through the bars, but that seems perilous. The drop is quite steep.
I turn back to the glass door, watching the people mingle inside.
Inside, where it’s warm.
I press my paw to the glass.
Perhaps there’s food, as well.
Mew?
Receiving no response, I settle in for another solitary evening, paws tucked under my chest as my eyes track the movement inside. Tonight there are other people. New people.
Predators?
Fiends?
Perhaps.
I keep my wits about me, as any warrior should. Inside, the Sad Girl spares me a glance or two, but there’s no compassion in it. I don’t think she likes me much, though I don’t know why. She never smiles.
I bat a paw out, claws extended.
Mew?
Am I not a good protector?
She ignores me, as usual. I spend a while cleaning my fur, making sure to fluff it out nice and clean. Just in case she decides to retrieve me, she’ll see that I’m a good cat—clean and hardy, and certainly more so than Angry Guy.
Look at me, Sad Girl.
Won’t you smile?
Opposable thumbs are overrated.
Suddenly, another girl appears. This one has strangely-colored fur-hair and she’s talking to Sad Girl. It’s instinct to wonder if she’s a fiend, but I don’t think so. Her expression is hard but her eyes are sad, just like Sad Girl. The real fiend enters the kitchen behind the glass—Angry Guy.
I don’t like him.
He smells funny and is constantly barking, and he makes me lay out here in the cold.
I press my ears flat to my head as I watch him approach New Sad Girl. My fur rises, puffing me out to full fluff, and I hope it makes me intimidating, because Angry Guy is getting that look on his face. That fiendish, angry look.
Pop!
I jump back, hissing at the loud sound that hurts my ears. Angry Guy falls over, slapping limply against the floor, and Sad Girl is howling. I’ve never heard Sad Girl meow before. It makes my hackles rise even more.
Angry guy doesn’t get back up.
Hm.
I pace in front of the door as I watch all the commotion going down in the kitchen. There are other men. Angry men. Surprised men. Big, strong men.
Fiends?
But one of them is gently cleaning New Sad Girl’s face.
Not a fiend.
Protector.
I swipe my paw against the window, but I’m not sure why at first. These are strange people with strange fur and strange meows, but I can be a protector, too. They’ll see, won’t they?
I watch as New Sad Girl approaches Sad Girl and yells at her. It makes me suspicious, but then she looks at me.
At me?
At me!
I puff my chest out to show her what a big, strong cat I am. A good cat. A cat someone could be kind to. A protector. A fighter.
Mew?
When she slides the door open, I dive for her knee, pulling myself up.
New Sad Girl catches me, pulling me into her chest, and we spend a moment staring at one another.
Slowly, she smiles.
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